The Lighter Side of TransformationSM
A periodic health and wellness newsletter sharing thoughts, therapies and events for conscious living.

From the desk of
Lisa Wessan LICSW, RM, CLYL

Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Author, Speaker, Consultant

ISSUE 27 October 2016



I. No more to release painful "Compare and Despair" obsessions.

2. Up Next: Behavioral Health
Best Practices

New Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Groups (DBT) for Fall, evening and daytime groups.

How to Recover from Compare and Despair

A week does not go by without me hearing about the rage and unexpressed grief from a client who is hurting from what I call "Compare and Despair." This happens when you see someone on Facebook or in real life have something you want, or think you should have, and it creates a terrible pain from the perceived lack in your life.


Parents stress out from seeing their friends' children get into better colleges, or win awards, and much more jealousy runs rampant from those vacation pictures and fitness bravados.


After one of my "close" relatives unfriended me on Facebook, I went through a psychospiritual process about this and came out the other end and wrote about it: Compare and Despair: how free do you want to be?


It has been suggested by Matthew S. Schwartz (FUTURE TENSE, 8/30/2016) that we need some new vocabulary words to reflect the mingled joy and jealousy caused by Facebook and other social media. Words such as "Frenvy" and "Frenvious" have been suggested. Read Schwartz's excellent article in HERE.


How do you deal with your social media hurts and dilemmas? I'm always curious to hear what works, and what has not worked, in coping with your digital dilemmas.





Up Next: Behavioral Health
Best Practices



We have had a successful year going through the entire DBT Skills curriculum (Dialectical Behavior Therapy).


This past trimester we explored Mindfulness, Dialectics and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Learning how to communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, say NO when you mean NO and YES when you mean YES opens amazing doors for improved friendships, work relations and romance. I think this group has experienced a deep shift in how they approach negotiations and relationship challenges thanks to these powerful DBT skills.


A new semester is starting in November, on Mindfulness, DIalectics and Distress Tolerance, offering dozens of powerful and effective exercises. There will be an evening class on Wednesdays and a daytime class is currently forming on Thursdays.


For more information, please click HERE.


As always, please contact me if you have any questions or need further information about anything you read here.


Onward and Upward,

Lisa Wessan



Copyright by Lisa Wessan 2016. All rights reserved.
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